Tonight at my friends graduation, they were awarding a girl with an outstanding student award. Instead of saying they wished her great success, she said they wish her great sex.
I have to say this is completely legit - someone tried to steal her handbag and she simply went “Fuck this- *suplex*”
someone teach me this pweeze-ooc
Ok Ladies, here’s the info on this move.
We are blessed with a low center of gravity. This means that when we get ahold of someone and tip over backward like that, it’s easy peasy for us to do. Especially on a guy. Think of it like a fulcum and lever: they’re the lever, we’re the fulcrum, and because their center of gravity is up in their chest, instead of in their pelvis, when we get down low and lean back, whupsy there they tip right over.
Now, here’s the real deal on that particular move. Check out how this gif end, with the guy’s head on the floor like that? How his torso seems straight up and down, his head and neck on the floor, all his body weight and the momentum of having been tossed over her shoulder?
Yeah, he’s pretty messed up from that. In the really real world, if you do that move correctly, toss your whole body into it, seriously oomph it up and give that mugger a throw, you can snap his neck.
All that said, here’s how you do it!
This is something you do fast, ladies. Move quickly and with assurance, and don’t worry about whether you’re strong enough to do it or not: you are. This is about physics, not muscle.
Get low, bend your knees and hips. Our strength is largly concentrated in our lower bodies, and when we put our knees and thighs into a move, we bring some of the largest muscles in the human body to bear. You’d be surprised what you can move with your legs.
When she got low on him, her right arm was around his waist, her shoulder roughly at or under his ass, her left arm wrapped around his left leg. Feet shoulder width apart for a nice stable base, big deep breath in, and lift just a bit while falling backwards. It doesn’t take much strength but it will really mess with the dude’s day. Landing on your head will at the very very least knock you silly for a minute.
Interestingly, we can use these same basic principles to ruin a guy’s day if he’s the one to grab us! Imagine, if you will, mugger dude runs up behind you and bear hugs you in preparation for dragging you into the alley. Scary, right? Yep.
If he lifts you too fast, and you find your feet off the ground, kick him in the shins, scrape your shoes down his legs, aim for the knees and his feet. Toss your head back and head butt him. Bite him. Squirm. Do what it takes to get your feet back on the ground.
Feet on the ground, grab his arms and hold on to them. Don’t let him get away, because this move, ladies, will put him down and out, and if he moves away he may go for a distance weapon, or start using his fists. Hold onto his arms and keep him in close.
Again, feet shoulder width apart. Use your booty and hips now, like you’re trying to hit his not-so-manly bits with your ass, get your hips back, bend your knees and flex your hips. If he’s shortish, you should at this point have picked him up and be balancing him on your back. If he’s tall, you’re now in position to put a crimp in his style in a big way.
Tuck your head to your chest and roll forward, just like you did when you were a kid. Flip yourself forward and let gravity do the rest. You will have your head tucked down, aiming to land on the upper back of one shoulder; he won’t. This means he’ll land on his face, with the full force of his own body weight behind it as well as any momentum you’ve built up. You may very well land on top of him too.
From here, get up, run like hell towards a light source while yelling “help, fire, call 911 (or whatever emergency services number exists in your country)”
Remember, ladies, with just a little understanding of comparative anatomy and physics, you too can put a man on the ground and seriously mess up his day. But then, that’s what he was planning to do to you, so fair’s fair.
Reblogging again because of Gryphyn’s awesome comment. C:
THIS IS AWESOME.
One day we’ll be in a Marvel movie, sitting there as something doesn’t feel right. and as the credits start to roll we’ll know what it is. It will flash up on screen and our hearts will break. “In loving memory of Stan Lee”. There was no cameo in that movie. And there never will be again.
This is actually sickening. Imagine arabs making television shows mocking 9/11 and justifying it because America is killing people in the middle east. 10,000 people die in Germany and then Jews make jokes about it because ‘MUH HOLOCAUST OY VEYY”. This is what you sound like. You spend so much time claiming women are not objects while you refer to men as ‘THEM’ and saying they don’t have feelings. As if every man wants to rape you. Men don’t get feminism because we know that 99% of men respect women and would never hurt a woman. Women are not oppressed at all in any culture besides the middle east, retard. You are fighting fire with fire, you’re fucking stupid. Feminism is a delusion.
Rebloggable by request
I think your ‘99%’ may be very fucking skewed.
Princess Sikhanyiso Dlamini of Swaziland.
She is the oldest of 23 children. Her father is King Mswati III. Swaziland is Africa’s last absolute monarch.
In 2001, Mswati III instituted the umchwasho – a traditional chastity rite – in Swaziland as a means of combatting the AIDS epidemic. The princess became a focus of controversy as, while she was staying abroad, she was not bound by the strictures of the umchwasho. While studying abroad, Princess Sikhanyiso has developed a reputation for ignoring or rebelling against her native country’s traditions. Sikhanyiso wears Western-style clothing something women in Swaziland are discouraged from doingThe Princess also criticized the institution of polygamy in Swaziland, saying “Polygamy brings all advantages in a relationship to men, and this to me is unfair and evil”.
Right now the Princess is in Australia working a masters degree at Sydney University.
Also I kinda really REALLY wanna be her friend. She seems pretty awesome.
I need to meet her. I mean, half my family is from Kenya…there has to be some way to get some international African awesomeness going on.